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| 11:27pm 27/11/2005 |
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Today I felt good in the morning when I woke up because I slept on my own.
Then I felt bad when I checked my email.
I felt bad, sad, depressed, sick, everything.
Then I went to the doctor's and I felt better.
I had lunch with my family and I felt even better.
Then I came home and read livejournal and I felt angry.
Then I started worrying about sleeping.
I started hating Yale.
I became clingy with my Mom again.
I cried a lot and a lot.
I drove around and sat in front of CHS in my car and cried.
I came home and cried.
My mom came into my room and talked to me.
I felt better.
I ate dinner.
I'm about to leave on a plane and I'm scared. I don't like planes anymore. I don't like red eye flights and I don't like leaving my home and my Mom. I'm afraid of everything. And I'm really tired.
But I learned something today: never give into anger. One event that angers you can lead to a cascade of negative emotions. It can undo all your progress. Have a bubble around you and don't let people penetrate it. And if they do penetrate it, understand why they act the way they act and let it go.
Thank you.
It made me stronger. Even if I'm too scared to remember it sometimes. |
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| 10:27am 06/05/2005 |
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In the past two days, I have worked harder than I have ever worked in my life. Then I came home yesterday and crashed and slept until now.
Plan for the summer:
Come home May 11th.
Go to Cali on May 18th.
Come back from Cali May 24th.
Go on college tour w/ family June 11.
Come back from college tour June 19.
Go to Belize June 25.
Come back from Belize August 7.
Go to school Aug 24.
What a busy schedule I have for summer! I'm excited to come home but at the same time I'm sad too because I love school so much. I'm not ready to leave my friends and Yale for 3 months. I'm going to miss it so much. Also, when I come back, I'm going to be a sophomore. I'm not ready to be a sophomore yet. This means I'm one step closer to being a senior and leaving Yale forever and then what will I do?
Oy. Anyway, I'll be home soon. See you all then. |
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| 11:28am 29/03/2005 |
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I went RENT on Broadway with 40 or so friends. It was really fitting for me to see that on the day before my birthday.
Every year keeps getting better and better for me :)
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand
Six Hundred Minutes
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand
Moments So Dear
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand
Six Hundred Minutes
How Do you Measure - Measure A Year ?
In Daylights - In Sunsets
In Midnights - In Cups Of Coffee
In Inches - In Miles
In Laughter - In Strife
In - Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand
Six Hundred Minutes
How Do You Measure
A Year In The Life ?
How About Love ?
Measure In Love |
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| 10:26pm 24/03/2005 |
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I don't know what's wrong with me guys. I feel all these conflicting things all the time.
I miss home but I get so angry at my mom. I miss David but I need space. I love Yale but I need to get out of here. I love school itself but I'm burned out. So many conflicting feelings.
I'm considering studying abroad junior year in Argentina. What do you all think? And, more importantly, what the hell am I going to do for the first weeks of summer? I really don't want to do an internship in finance. I might have to puke.
I miss you guys. |
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| 07:47pm 20/03/2005 |
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This was the first break that I've had since I came to college where I actually didn't want to come back to school. It was nice being home again. The weather was beautiful and my friends are great.
Now I'm back at Yale. It's so beautiful here. I'll post pictures when the trees get their leaves again. I really missed this place (my suitemates, etc). I kind of missed classes.
I feel a lot older now that I did coming back from other breaks. when I think about the fact that my freshmen year is essentially over, I kind of have a panic attack. I really don't want college to end right now because I'm not ready for the future.
Today is a weird day I guess. I'm cranky and irritable. I feel off.
I miss home. Ugh, this sucks. |
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| T.G.I. Spring Break |
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| 09:26am 04/03/2005 |
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Hey all.
Midterms are over!!!!!!!! My anthro one went well (but please God let there be a curve). My Econ one went reasonably well considering I'm a dumbass at Econ. Spanish oral midterm went superbly. Lastly, my math midterm went okay.
Also, I found out that I'm getting the Albers Traveling fellowship so this summer, Yale is paying for me to go to Belize to reseach the Maya for six weeks. We will be excavating an early Mayan village near Orange Walk City, Belize. This goes from June 26 through August 7th.
Here's the plan for Spring Break:
Today: Go to Rebecca's house in Weschester.
Tommorrow: Off to SoHo and Sabrina's house and possibly MoMA
Sunday-Wed: Puerto Rico
Thurs: Back in NYC
Fri: Fly home
The following Friday: Fly back to NYC
:)
See you all soon. |
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| 11:43am 31/01/2005 |
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mood:  scared
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Today I had a breakdown. For whatever reason, I've been missing home so acutely lately.
I miss my home and my family and my dog and my friends and Applebee's and movies and playing pool at the gym and making fun of Huselid and being put to sleep by Mr. Keith's class.
I have no motivation here to achieve anymore. I find myself caring less and less about school and looking forward to when I don't have to be in school anymore.
I really love my parents. I love my brother too, even though I feel like he doesn't give a shit about me anymore. I think at one point he used to but since I came here he's called me a grand total of two times. Count 'em. One. Two.
I'm worried about my Dad's health. He's not in any sort of danger but his diabetes is more serious now and I'm afraid that his health might one day be as bad as his fathers.
I miss my friends a lot. Holly, Danielle, Melissa, Brian, Matt, Harvey.
I have David and I don't know what I'd do without him.
My mom said she'd fly out here next weekend to see me. I hope that works out. I miss her. |
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| 12:54pm 12/01/2005 |
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It's good to be back. Even if the weather does suck.
Snow is only pretty for a little bit. Then it mixes with the dirt on the street to form this yucky brown sludge that gets all over.
Classes are good. I'm taking:
Spanish
Macroeconomics
Math 125b- Introduction to Probabalisitc modeling
Genesis and Collapse of Old World Civilizations
And I'm getting job. Fuck, I have to do this fellowship application by this weekend. Life is busy here, as always. I like it that way though. |
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| 10:06am 28/12/2004 |
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I hate being one of those girls who writes about their boyfriends in their livejournals. But things are changing in my life and these changes relate to him.
Yesterday morning I had this blow up fight with my mom that centered around two issues
1. She thinks that I think that having a lot of money is a bad thing. I told her yesterday that I think people with a lot of money all have one thing in common: they have no intellectual freedom. Money, whether or not they realize it, becomes the central concern of their live and earning money becomes their motivation. I don't consider this freedom. At the same time, however, poor people also feel that they have no freedom because they argue that you need money to do what you want (this is also true). So if poor people have no freedom and rich people have no freedom, then who the hell has freedom? I guess she's just worried because I told her I didn't want to go to business school and go into i-banking. I just think I'm meant for something else.
2. She's worried about how committed I am to David. I guess I am really committed. He's something between boyfriend and fiance. She's learning to accept his presence in my life. She can't find anything wrong with him and that scares her.
Other than that, I'm hope until Jan 7th.
I go to Disneyland with Danielle on Jan 2-4th.
Peace out. |
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| 01:58pm 10/12/2004 |
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Final exams are starting. Last night I went to the library because I study well over there. Up in the top of Sterling Memorial (14 floors of Book stacks), there is a desk at the end of each book shelf. Anyway, I picked a random floor and went up to the desk to study because there are no distractions. I got there at like 11:00 in the night. I woke up face down in my Econ book at 5:00 am and realized I was locked in the library. It was terrifying, let me tell you. Anyway, they opened up at 8:00 am and let me out along with some other poor unfortunete souls who got locked in too.
In other news, I'm sick as hell and I think I might have mono. This would suck. This would suck a hell of a lot. I'm going to get tested on Tuesday after my IR final.
More news: I said I love you for the first time to a boy. And I meant it. I'll tell you more when I get home, Danielle. I plan on living in the library now.
See everyone in about a week. |
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| Here's my poem, bitches |
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| 01:35am 06/12/2004 |
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I love my Danielle.
I miss my David.
I love my brother.
And my parents.
And my doggie.
But I miss my Yale.
And my suitemates.
And my David.
The End. |
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| 11:11pm 18/11/2004 |
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HARVARD-YALE football game this weekend.
I bought a shirt that says "You can't spell Harvard without VD"
I was going to buy the "Fuck Harvard" shirt, but that was too obscene to wear at home.
Going to Cambridge tommorrow on the 5:30 train.
This weekend is definetly not going to be a sober one.
I mean, c'mon, it's The Game.
Harvard enforces alcohol rules too. Sucks to be them. If they caught get drinking they have to go in front of the board. I realize calling it "the board" makes it sound scary, but they are scary. They have the power to suspend you. God forbid I ever go in front of the board. Only plagiarists go in front of the board here.
Then I'm coming home. Get in at like midnight on Sunday. Flying home with my friend Jordan (also in D-port) who lives in Tucson. I'm driving him home on Monday, and eating non-stop afterwards.
Call the cell. Number's the same. |
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| Why are 50% of Americans morons? |
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| 04:39pm 03/11/2004 |
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mood:  angry
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Fuck you, Mr. Bush.
I hate what you're doing to my country.
I don't understand a couple of things:
1. How your narrow-minded Christian view of the world allows for social justice
2. Why you'll sacrifice the children of the poor to fight the war of the rich
3. Why you don't understand the difference between church and state
People keep telling me not to be upset, that I should have expected it.
Well, fuck them. I AM upset. I grew up thinking that my country was the land of equal opportunity and freedom. I grew up thinking that my country was the country in which it didn't matter that I didn't believe what Christians believe.
I remember going to India and my cousin hating America with a passion. I remember thinking, "She's just jealous."
Jealous of what? Certainly not this.
I think I understand why she hates us now. |
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| 10:07am 01/11/2004 |
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Everybody posting about the tournament makes me sad. I miss them. :(
My baby brother got 2nd in Policy debate. Everyone go give him a hug and tell him how awesome he is.
My surrogate baby sister got a 3rd in LD. Same applies for her.
Halloween festivities were this weekend. The Yale Symphonic Orchestra performance yesterday was mind-blowingly awesome.
But then I had to come home and do the Econ problem set I put off until the last minute. Cournout equilibrium sucks. But at least I understand it now.
I also spent Friday and Saturday in New York City just walking around Manhattan. My friend Sabrina has a loft in SoHo. I also had Shabbat (sp?) dinner with her family, which was cool.
I'm going back to the city on the 14th with David to see Fiddler on the Roof. The train there is like 2 hours. Bllleech. Oh well, I guess it gives me 4 hours of commuting time in which to do the copious amounts of homework I have.
Then on the 21st, I'm going to Cambridge for The Game where Yale kick Harvard's ass. MIT usually pulls some kind of prank in the middle of the game. I'm looking forward to that.
David supposed to send me the pictures Danielle. I'll send them to you then. |
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| Why hello there |
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| 01:23am 25/10/2004 |
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New beginnings. New relationships.
I think I like where my life is going...
My parents visited me this weekend. I love them so much. I like having the type of relationship with them that I can tell them anything. I feel so lucky to have them as parents.
I miss Puneet and Jacey.
Home in 1 month |
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| 02:12am 04/10/2004 |
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mood:  content
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Hey all. Danielle said to update my journal more.
My life is pretty awesome right now. So perfect.
I feel like something is bound to go wrong.
Ever get that feeling?
I've had this feeling since Dec 15, 2003. |
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| 11:17am 29/09/2004 |
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Guys, I am constantly sleep deprived.
It sucks when you put on your contacts in the morning, only to realize that you just took them out 5 hours ago. Yes, it sucks much.
Also, I get the feeling that a lot of my Arizona friends (the ones in college in AZ I mean) are unhappy. I feel very disconnected from them with the exception of a couple (Danielle, Melissa).
I don't talk to Brian very much but that's okay because I love him mucho and we don't need to talk lots to be very close.
Oh, shit. Gotta go to Spanish class. Bye bye. |
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| 08:36am 25/09/2004 |
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mood:  drained
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Holy fucking shit.
I've never been so scared of someone dying of alcohol poisoning in my life.
We argued to get him back to Old Campus.
Then he threw up like half of his body weight.
Then he was loopy.
We took him to University Health but we had to convince the Yale Transit bus driver that he wasn't drunk.
We left him there.
We picked him up at 7:30.
Had breakfast.
And I realized I care about him a lot. And when he isn't there when I wake up in the mornings, I miss him.
Fuck. This is a bad sign. This is what gets people distracted. |
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| Little Priya is growing up :) |
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| 10:33am 22/09/2004 |
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mood: content
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So this is a weird time of firsts for me.
I adore my suitemate Rebecca Taber who seems to go through things at the exact same time as me (relationship wise).I also adore my suitemate Sabrina Howell who is the experienced one out of the three of us and tells us things that no one else ever will. I don't know what I'd do without them.
I'm trying hard to find balance right now in my life. School, extracurriculars, relationships, friends at Yale, friends at home, family. I have to balance these things and it's not exactly working right now.
But I love it here so much that when I think about how I have to leave here when I graduate, I'm terrified. Fuck, I'm terrified of life beyond Old Campus.
Anyway, I have to go to class and eat something. Bye bye. |
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